


Need to Dig Up a Body: Science Bros Edition

by Diary



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Conversations, Families of Choice, Gen, Love, Loyalty, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28514061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: “Making sure a potential murder victim might get justice is something warranting disapproving judgement?” Complete.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Need to Dig Up a Body: Science Bros Edition

Groaning, Tony rolls over enough to hit answer on his ringing phone. “Whoever’s calling-”

A voice asking if he’ll accept the charges for a collect call from Bruce Banner interrupts him.

Sitting up, he answers, “Yeah. Yes.”

“Tony?”

“Hey, Bruce.”

“I need you to answer some questions, and then, hang up and forget we had ever had this conversation.”

“Well, I guess I could try. Most of my conversations with you are pretty memorable, big guy. What are the questions?”

“How do you start a tractor without a set of keys, and no, don’t make any jokes about me illegally hotwiring a tractor.”

“Okay, I won’t. I’ll just point out that, in order to answer, I’d need to know what sort of tractor.”

“Alright, moving on, how would you hotwire a standard- let me rephrase: How would a person without your tech hotwire a standard-issue morgue van?”

“Personally, I’d advise them to call me, seeing as how I have the tech. What’s going on, Bruce? Body disposal, grave-digging, whatever, you know-”

“Tony, just answer my question, and then, let it go.”

“Do you really expect me to do that?”

“It’d be really nice if you did. I’d appreciate it.”

“Yeah, well, before I advise on how best to allegedly commit any crimes, I’d like to know that my friend who might be committing them is okay.”

“The police around here are either idiotic or corrupt or both. A proper autopsy wasn’t performed on someone I strongly suspect was murdered. And if I try to go through legal channels, I have a feeling the body will end up tampered with. Assuming I could even win in the first place.”

“You definitely made the right decision in calling me. Where are you?”

“Tony-”

“Bruce, A. If you try to pay me back, I will sic Dummy on you, and B. You called me collect instead of getting on the internet to find out how to hotwire a tractor and morgue van. You clearly need more help than me giving you information over the phone.”

Bruce sighs. “I thought about calling- but I knew you wouldn’t judge me. It’d, uh, be better if you did, though. Instead of trying to get involved in something like this.”

“Making sure a potential murder victim might get justice is something warranting disapproving judgement?”

“There’s a right way and wrong way to do things, Tony.”

“Sure there is, Dr Banner, and it’s a shame those police are doing their job so badly that you have to step in to do it right. Luckily, you’ll have plenty of help. Now, come on, tell me where you, and I’ll be there soon.”

Bruce does.

“Ouch. I’ll be there soon, okay? Unless you have to, don’t do anything until I get there.”

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Bye, Bruce.”


End file.
